Thursday, September 24, 2009

He's a maniac...

There are certain times when our boy starts moving around like crazy. I like to think he's dancing. Especially when it happens and there's music playing.

The last couple weeks Jason and I have been going to church together on Sundays. And while Jason plays music in his car, and I sit in the passenger side just listening and looking at people in their cars, I feel my baby start to boogy. Once at church, during our songs and worship, I can feel him really get down.

Once in a while it really does feel like he's tap dancing in there. It's an amazing little reminder that my boy's got a personality already. Are we in for a treat! JT was a character. Still is. And I was a smarty pants. So this should really be fun. I cannot wait until I get to meet this little guy. Tap shoes and all.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Ahh, today...

Yesterday I had a Dr.s appointment. It went well. I gained another 4lbs. My blood pressure and glucose seem good. I have a Gestational Diabetes test in about a month. I also have a Chiropractor appointment next week. It's all zooming by. I'm having some trouble with my final decisions. I want to do things a certain way, but I may not have that option, financially. It's tough that my options aren't always mine. They are the wallet's. I want to make the best decisions for my child and for myself.

We're still not sure what will happen after the baby's born. We know he'll be out and ready for some TLC. And we'll be there to give it to him. At this point we're just trying to figure out who will be home with him and who will bring home the bacon. We're also trying to figure out how we'll pay for the birth. If only I could go into the woods somewhere, birth this child and then just jog on back to my house. At which point my family will gather, marvel and bask in the glow of my newborn and I will get to lay in bed recovering for a few weeks. If only that were how it worked.

I have to just pray that things will work out for the best. I am just short of giving up and just letting the system push me through, as it is prone to do. I'll be put on this conveyor belt: check in, lay and labor, be poked and prodded, lay and labor, push, push, no really...PUSH, and then at some point I'll have my child. I really just want it to be February so I can just look back at how I survived it all and how wonderful it was.

Where is Marty McFly when you need him?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Decisions Decisions...

Doula? Midwife? OB? Hospital? Home Birth? Birth Center? Out in the woods?

Man, I'm really having a hard time pinpointing what I'm going to do. I love JT for supporting whichever birth method we'd like to pursue. So far the Dr. has been great. But I worry when it comes down to the actual birth. Just the IV being put into my arm. To the immediate rushing off of my baby as soon as he's born. I have decisions to make. And I'm scared I won't make the right one. The ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby. It's the journey getting there that's scary.

Oh yeah, and then there's everything after...

Lord help me.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Did you feel that?

Most days I'll ask JT to feel my belly when the baby moves a lot, in hopes that he'll feel him kicking. But unfortunately his answer is usually "no". He doesn't stop trying though. And I love him for that. Last night, I was sitting on the couch with my feet up and our baby was kicking up a storm. I looked at JT, and he quickly put his hand on my belly. I asked "Did you feel-" JT cut in with "I think I felt him!" With a smile and some more trying to feel, we ended our evening.

It's amazing to think that it's getting so much closer. Now we'll just have to wait a few more months for him to be tangible for both of us. It's unbelievable. I'm excited and I cannot wait for him to be here.

'Him' will soon be named. Although, I am considering keeping the name a secret until he's born and has been named. I'm not sure people will like our choice in names. Good thing they're not our kid.

Ah the joys of parenthood.

Friday, September 4, 2009

20 weeks...

5 months. 20 weeks. Holy cow time is really flying by. Life has been a whirlwind, which I'm sure only makes things go by that much faster. We're beginning to figure out what we'll do when the birth comes around. Dr's appointments and ultra sounds. It's exciting and all a little scary. I called and made an appointment for another ultra sound, because they want a better look at his heart. That scares me a bit. But I know that there's nothing I can do on my end, but wait it out and hopefully get another happy little look at my darling boy.

We go to Pahrump this weekend. I'm excited to talk to Cindy a little more about our birthing options. I want her to be my midwife, but being that she's in Nevada, it makes things difficult. If nothing more, I'll escape to Nevada for a week or so just to have this kid. I'm unsure of the actual birth. A little scared too.

This weekend I look forward to cooking, eating, playing games, watching movies, hanging out, and possibly swimming. Really just spending a nice long weekend with JT's family is always nice. I'm really happy my brothers are going with us. It makes for a more entertaining weekend. I love my family, they're all amazing, and I can't wait until I introduce this little boy to them all.