Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Anxiously awaiting...

I have an appointment with a Dr. who will look at my insides. It will be my first prenatal appointment. My wonderful husband is going with me, and I can't thank him enough for being so considerate and supportive. I'm nervous, and he keeps telling me "Everything will be ok. Trust me. I know these things" And I do, but not long after I'll freak out again.

I've had trouble believing this miracle has really happened to us. So I have kept it mostly under wraps, except for family and a small circle of friends, until...well, today. After today's appointment, where I hope they'll let me hear a heart beat, or see something, or the Dr. will shake me and tell me that I really am pregnant, Then I'll tell the world. Then I'll be emailing, texting, calling...Telling everyone I know.

I want this more than I can even express, and I feel like I just need to hang on a little longer until it all comes true. Or at least until I'm convinced it all came true.

My mother-in-law is a midwife, and I ask her a million questions. I talk to her about all the fears and worries I have. It's nice to have her available to me. It's a blessing. But I can't wait until I can go and show her a picture, or tell her I heard the heart beat. Something...Anything...

I'm anxiously awaiting my baby.

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